Ling was finally going to bring her boyfriend, Bruce, to meet her parents over dinner. This would be a critical moment and his performance would determine whether Tracey's parents would accept this "Ang-Moh" as an in-law. Therefore, Tracey tried to brief her boyfriend about the Chinese culture and its "do's and don'ts" before the dinner, hoping that it would help him score those much needed points.
The dinner was a disaster. When the dishes were served, Bruce helped himself to the food heartily, unaware of the need for subtleties when taking food. What happened next was worse. When Ling’s mother brought out her signature dish, she followed the custom of Chinese cooks to criticise their own dishes in a bid to be modest. Guests were supposed to disagree, saying that it was delicious. However, Bruce commented that the dish could do with a little more soy sauce and proceeded to add some soy sauce to the dish in front of the cook herself!
Ling almost fainted on the spot. Would this potential “In-law” become an “Out-law” instead?
Now, we can’t really blame Bruce right? He was just acting like how he would be in a Caucasian family, where everything is open. He would never have realised the subtle and silent customs of the Chinese culture. Everything is learnt slowly through the years living in a Chinese family. Bruce was just trying to be helpful in adding the soy sauce. He wouldn’t have reacted to Ling’s mother’s comments in that way if he had a deeper understanding of the Chinese culture. Maybe he should have done a little more homework before coming over for such an important dinner?
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4 comments:
This is interesting, Jem. It's the familiar "guess who's coming to dinner" theme where the parents get to meet the would-be spouse from a different ethnic group, right?
However, I think you overgeneralize about Caucasian families based on one representative. You write "He was just acting like how he would be in a Caucasian family, where everything is open." Everything is open? I disagree. Every social situation is guided by social norms, and in some cases, those norms may seem "open," but be aware that there are nuances that you may not see. And then of course, the rules depend on time and place. (and to which there are often exceptions)
Thanks!
Hey, i guess the girlfriend should have more prepared him for the dinner.
Probably she can bring him out for a "pre-dinner" with some Asian friends before the actual dinner with the family. This real life experience might help to re-enforce some important Chinese values to him.
Yes Brad i admit that I had made a sweeping statment over there. Guess we Asians stereotype Caucasians as much too. I'll take note not to make that mistake in the future. Thanks!
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